WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: Three Magical Words

Right now, at the tender age of 21, “I got you” are my favorite words to hear from my (incredibly sexy and cute) papi. Why you may ask? Well I will answer below.

In this article I will write about the ” Words of Affirmation” love language. Plus, the three magical words that stick with and claim the heart of any one who’s primary love language is affirmations.

There are five languages; Physical touch, Quality time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation and Gifts. We all respond to all these, however, everybody has a primary one that they respond to most. Mine is words. Hence the value placed on the “I got you” phrase. And the “words of affirmation” love language is what I will be talking about today.

One thing I have learned is that in relationships and friendships, balance is key. So, words without action= manipulation. And action without words= uncertainty, incompletion or boredom. Therefore, while some one might have “words of affirmation” as their main, it does not mean that the other love languages are irrelevant. It simply means that “words” are the driving force backed up by the rest of the love languages. Same for physical touch and the rest.

People under this category feel fulfilled when others show appreciation for them. They will never get tired of being told in a straight forward way that they matter and that they are admired. They also will not hesitate to go ahead and communicate to other people in the same way. They love to communicate and discuss various topics with their loved ones. They value self expression over silence and are severely drained in situations that involve mind games and silent treatment. They thrive with partners who are straight forward and are skilled in the art of conversation.

Authenticity, empathy, appreciation, validation and creative, artistic ways to show love go far for these individuals. Cute texts and sharing of insights also go well for these people. Not only that, but also simple and small phrases, compliments and nicknames do more for them than any gift or prize ever would.

Some people mainly show love through favors, gifts, sex, time spent together. However, unless you front run these with straight forward and honest words about how you feel, people under the “words of affirmation” category will always have one foot out or will be unsure of their feelings towards you.

Whether you buy all the presents for them, or do them all the favours, or spend all the time with them, if you do not pair these actions up with a simple “I appreciate you” or “I wanted to make you happy” or “I enjoy spending time with you”, it is all futile. It is best to understand your feelings towards them and then communicate in a straight forward way.

I have been on dates with lots of guys who took me to the most expensive places and gave nice hugs or whatever, who bought me what I wanted etc. However, if I didn’t sense any authenticity or if I sensed a forced unnatural conversation, or if I felt them holding back and not speaking, there would always be a distance between us and I could never really get enthralled by them. Perhaps this is the reason why I absolutely love extroverts of the “EN” myers briggs family (Intuitive and insightful extroverts, they are underated gems). People under these personality types have a natural talent to sustain balanced communication without tripping on themselves.

While dating a girl or guy whose love language is words of affirmation, rather than holding back on affection and communication, let it all flow and intertwine naturally. The more you give, the more genuine, open ended, open minded and spontaneous conversations you have, the more they will love you and be happy with you. The more you ignore, hold back, act critical, aggressive, shady, close minded, condescending or apathetic, the more they will associate you with instability, bad vibes and unreliability. They will find themselves feeling as though something is “off” or “lacking”

One thing about people with this love language is that they love assurance, hence the word “affirmation”.

This is why the simple phrase “I got you”, does wonders for us. These three words say a million things “I hear you”, “Whatever I do is because I’m here for you”, etc. Just those three straight forward words provide assurance, appreciation and validation. These three words show empathy beyond anything, And for us, nothing is more important that being understood, or at least feeling understood. These words paired with action do wonders.

So if you find yourself dating someone who appears to fall under this category. Assure them with affirmations that express appreciation, validation and empathy. Let them constantly know that you’ve got them. Aside from showing, never be afraid to say “I Got You.”