Stability and Security 3: Keren’s Manifesto
This is part 3 in a series of why stability, reassurance, and security is very appealing to me. In teenage years, that was the time to have fun. Now, in 20’s, I feel intuition leading me to nurture, protect, support and conserve. Well, it turns out a lot of people have had it in reverse. I frankly think that 20’s are to build, not ‘YOLO’. You only live once was the motto in teenage life. Detachment, selfishness, non-responsibility for interpersonal relations were ways of children. There is no obligation to carry this into 20’s.
If someone can communicate, guide, protect and provide reassurance, direction or stability, they become insanely attractive. ‘Running away’ is cowardly. The whole ‘I’m focusing on me’, ‘I don’t have time to build anything’ seems a little bit cowardly in the world of adults. I find myself accepting other people's choices, but the more they say things like this, the lesser I respect them.
Probably because the adults I grew up admiring have Integrity, hold themselves accountable, and nourish their relationships. The adults I respect less showed all the juvenile behaviors of detaching from the needs of others and just living life according to their own complexes.
This is a failure method. the older we grow, the more we must care about cultivating healthy relationships and creating a stable social world, based on real solid foundations, not ideas of ‘YOLO’.
I have met a lot of people who have given me a feeling of stability and security, most of them are mentors, some are highly emotionally intelligent friends. I have yet to meet a romantic interest with these values.
If you drop the ‘IDGAF/ we’re young/ I’m focusing on myself/ I don’t care about healthy relationships stuff, you’ll be amazed at how attractive you will become, and how your life will flourish. It is important to take the leap and grow, not stay in some corner repeating complexes that were passed on to you by random people who have nothing to do with the divine design of your life.
Keren Obara 2023.
