Relationships in our 20’s: Simplicity, Minimalism and Stability.
- The natural human instinct to build a home and create a secure base of operation.
No matter where you put humans, they will build up something and protect it. That is just our nature. It is the same for human relations. Each generation thinks they are one of a kind, who don’t need to connect or form families. But at the end of the day, they always end up doing so. The millennials who swore they would never get married or start families ended up doing so, just later than others (most of them in early 40s).
Ironically, alongside the human instinct to build and protect comes a fear. A fear of loss, fear of vulnerability, fear of abandonment, fear of looking stupid (Gen Z is in this phase right now). I have noticed that the more a human being runs from what they fear, the more they stunt their own growth. To escape this loop involves facing what one fears and taking a deep dive into what seems threatening (emotional connection).
According to Surgeon General Vivek Murthy (21st Surgeon General of the United States), the healthier our relationships, the more we experience a state of flow. However, what blocks this is a state of fear and avoidance. I believe avoidance and fear are a great disease, they destroy people, prevent growth and cause unnecessary baggage in life.
We don’t have to be dead beats. It is not cool to have strings of meaningless relationships. Actually, if a human being manages to build a solid relational base, they do better in their 40s/50s as compared to those who lived a disorganized emotional life.
2. The solution.
Simplicity. Cutting down. Options are an illusion. There are people meant to be in your life, and there are people who are not. The average person today thinks they can connect with just anyone. Well, there are roughly 7 billion people in the world, but minimalism goes a long way. Pick the people that matter and build with them. Otherwise, you risk trying with hundreds of people and always ending up in the same place.
Yes, there is a saying; “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, but there is such a thing as “Juggling too many baskets”.
Simplicity and minimalism are the answer when it comes to true stability. No human can live a bachelor’s/ bachelorette life forever without eventually sinking into the repercussions of acute loneliness (which even include early onsets of conditions such as dementia).
