My mind and me. Written by Keren Obara.
It takes a lot of courage to write pieces about mental health. But frankly, we’ve always got to make lemonade in life. I was inspired by Selena Gomez’s bravery to share her story. And when I listened to her song, of the same title, I felt as though she was singing to me.
I thought; “If Selena Gomez, famous as she is, beautiful as she is, can talk freely, then so can I!”
In a way she has inspired a generation of girls to share, and not suffer in silence.
I recently read the book; “Don’t believe everything you think.” I read it because my mind always tells me how much people hate me, how flawed I am, how unwanted I am. It’s terrible. It comes in waves, really. The result of this is isolation. I once believed that my family and my closest friends hated me, yet they didn’t.
Luckily it hasn’t stopped me from achieving all that I want to achieve. I sort of go into autopilot whenever the anxiety gets bad. I manage to get things done.
On the outside, I am productive. On the inside, I’m dying.
Sometimes my mind is an angel. But sometimes, it’s something I don’t recognise.
I hate it when the depressive episodes kick in, but I love it when the mania comes.
Thank God for therapy (and thank you to Betterhelp).
I’ve decided to just go with the flow. I realize I didn’t have the same upbringing as others. I was always held to higher standards, had to spend hours reading and studying, had perfectionist caregivers who rewarded perfection and punished mediocrity. This gives rise to adults who are prone to anxiety, worry, and bipolar disorder.
But it is what it is.
A tool I learnt is ti question my mind. So when a negative thought comes, I say; “Are you sure? How do you know that’s true?”
This lessens the impact of the negative voices, and I am able to go on with my day.
The topic of mental health will surely be one of great importance in the future.
Until then, take care.
