Accepting what is by Keren Obara
In my early 20’s, I didn’t want to be like the grumpy women I grew up around, so I adapted a personality the furthest from them. That backfired. People don’t respond well to kindness or — the most disgusting thing- niceness. People don’t respond well to optimism or radiating positivity and communication. So, in trying to be a better person, I found myself at another brick wall. But when I embraced my gloom, it all became better. So, I came full circle. The very thing I thought was not good to be, is what gets you respected. Everything failed, all the kindness failed, all the smiles failed, all the optimism failed, all the ‘good mornings’ failed. But when the lights turn dark, that’s when they keep their distance, that’s when they show respect.
I saw that the world was mean to and overlooked a certain type of person. So, I decided to be kind to that type of person and ignore this other loud group of obnoxious people. Then got hurt.
So, as I sit here, I embrace the gloom, knowing that a certain type of girl will forever be lonely and unappreciated, no matter what she does. Once you realize this, you can accept what is, and let yourself flow in the cold dark ocean. It is peaceful. Because no one needs you, so you’re free to do what you want. Attached to nothing, not needing to invest in relationships or a community, because no matter who you morph yourself into, people will forever be unsatisfied.
Accepting what is, though scary, is freeing.
Keren Obara 2023.
